Critic my resume and cover letter... please.

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Permalink Reply by Peter Syravong on January 10, 2009 at 2:45pm

Damn Buddy Wachenheimer! Long time no *see!

Hey Victoria! Please take my response lightly, as I am not a veteran. More of a...around the way guy who who learns from veterans. Yeah, that's it. Sure.

Well, the CV is good. Not GREAT, and that is where I would focus first. When I write cover letters, I always put myself in the HR/Hiring managers shoes. Read the job listing carefully and to the end! So important. The letter shows the type of of person you are, but does not show WHO you are. Does that makes sense? They need to know who you are and what you can bring to the company. Supply concrete examples or things you have learned, even an event or project to supplement the quote you used. Something needs to be there to tease them and want more.

Design wise on the CV, it's good too. I would reconsider repetition of the quote. I would take the design header of the resume and use that instead of the one you have now on the CV. I feel the one on your CV is too much. And having them both be cohesive in design gives you a good look for branding :) And it would be helpful also to find out exactly who you are writing to (if you can) and have it directed to them and including the typical physical address format.

Now the resume, make it one page. The ambition portion seems too cookie cutter, needs to be tailored to the job specifically. And under experiences, think about perception here. For example, under Harry Stones Pizza Burger, you have "I also deal with conflict situations where customers are unsatisfied or are becoming obnoxious." Hell yeah I understand this, I was a server too. But listen to the way it sounds and how it would carry to someone reading it over. It almost has a negative/unnecessary connotation to it.

Sorry for the long post. I was and still am in your shoes. I only graduated school over 2 years ago. But luckily, I had a VERY early head start in my career development as in this industry, it is dog eat dog. I hope you veterans out there could agree with some of my suggestions. I know a lot of the stuff I said here are seems to be an expansion on what TJ was saying. And if you need more help Victoria, just add me and shoot over a message.

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Permalink Reply by TJ on January 10, 2009 at 3:58pm

Exactly... be "CONCISE" and this should make my "hiring" nipples stand on end like thumbtacks.

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Permalink Reply by Buddy 'Friendly' Wachenheimer on January 11, 2009 at 8:51am

Hey Peter, good to see you again too.

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Permalink Reply by Elyse on January 10, 2009 at 4:41pm

First off, the design is good, great job here. It is clear from both the CV and the cover letter that you are an intelligent young lady and this is a good junior level resume, but I know you want it to be GREAT or you wouldn't have asked. The two pointers I have involve adjustments that are very common - Don't be so modest and cut out the fat. Also, don't make yourself the indirect object of your resume. Use action phrases. No am I not an expert, but I have been hiring manager for multiple positions within a media company and most of them were for junior-level positions. In truth, I myself am looking for employment right now, so if I had all the answers... well YOU know. Here are my suggestions for what they are worth.

You probably know that most employers will receive hundreds of applications in response to an ad, this means they have a very limited amount of time to dedicate to each resume and cover letter.

CV down to 1 page! I know you have heard this. I had two pages in my CV for the first 5 years out of college too, it wasn't until I had to manage the hiring process myself that I understood the power of a concise CV. Here is how to do it:

1. Cut out the Attributes section. Use your cover letter to describe the personality traits that make you an asset to any company.
2. Cut out the Ambition section. The employer knows why you are applying for the position.
3. Cut out H.S. Diploma. If you went to college, the fact that you graduated H.S. is already evident.
4. Under Software Skills & Attributes - Just list the 5 programs, no need for the paragraph underneath each one. List the programs in one line with a comma between each. Use Cover Page or "Graphics & Layout" section to give specific skills you listed under Photoshop, Illustrator and InDesign
5. In Education under Loyalist College - reduce this to one sentence or cut out. Don't really need a full sentence... ie "In depth program focusing on four levels of Advertising/Marketing:" Then go on to list the four levels below and indent the four categories.
6. In Education - change the verbage from "could" or "would" to did. Don't be the one being acted upon" ie - "During my second year, we had one case study where all marketing and advertising efforts were developed from the ground up." This makes it sound as though the strategy happened on its own, but your team did this! I would change to something more like ... "My team developed an entire marketing and advertising strategy from the ground up which included... yada yada yada."
7. Under Copywriting: change "gained experience practicing to write.." to "gained experience writing..." You are being too modest here :D
"magazine ad's" needs to be "magazine ads" - no apostrophe. There are some other minor typos in the Education section too.
8. Under "Media Planning and Research" - could develop a media plan.... Did you have a project in class where you DID develop a media plan? Say so! Again, don't be so modest, you are diluting the power of what you learned by your choice of language.
"This course covered..." try to make yourself the one doing the action. "In this course we covered...."
9. Under "Experience" make it all past tense since you no longer work there. Don't need to list why you left, employer will ask this in an interview. Take out the part about obnoxious people.
The pizza place is the least relevant say as little as possible about this job. One line should do - the job title says it all. Say more about the Graphics Design job. Don't talk about transportation issues!!! Don't need to explain why it was short lived, your employers know how it goes with college jobs and internships etc.


Cover Letter
1. Cut out the second paragraph. The employer knows what duties you will perform in this job. Instead use this space to talk about your personality traits and any specifics of the design programs or college projects that you couldn't fit on your CV. Very important to tailor your cover letter for the job or agency.

Wow! that was a lot of suggestions, but I wish someone had given me this same advice when I was first starting out.

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Permalink Reply by Ross Cockerham on January 10, 2009 at 9:19pm

Few quick things...

With spelling and grammar, may I "assist or critique", and place a finished apostrophe in the "client's hands"?

I would be more specific with your ambition, and gear this statement to fit every company.

Content-wise, I noticed you talked more about Harry Stones than your experience in your field.

Also, freelance, not free-lance.

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