Tis the Season to Realize I'm a Year Older

Dear Diary or whatever. Well looks like things with me and the Create Magazine folks are cool and groovy. I'm on the Advisory Board for another year and will even have my own monthly rants and raves column on their website. (More on that to come)

So I checked out the November issue of Create and looks like some ofthe judges agreed with some of my picks but not with some of my other picks. But then again, I'm still a little foggy over exactly what I'm supposed to base my judging on. I know for example that there are those of you who wish to deduct points from me for my spelling and grammar. Under those circumstances, I decided not to deduct points if I didn't understand what I was judging and just rang it up to me being non-relevant and perhaps a little stupid.

(No clever segue to next paragraph availble)

So, I went to my agency holiday party last night (notice we no longer say Christmas). I also noticed that aside from a single flocked tree in the entryway of the night club, it would have been impossible to tell this was a holiday party. Even the fat, drunk guy with the Santa hat wasn't here this year, or perhaps he was prevented from entering the premises, along with the shipment of Christmas lights, missletoe, minnorahs and whatever it is represents Kwanza. Aside from the mass of people spilling out of the post offices and Home Depot, it would be hard to know we are a mere 19 days away from Christmas.

As I began making the rounds of last night's holiday party, I noticed a few things. One, getting up and down the staircase is becoming more and more challenging each year. Number two, I seem to be showing up earlier and earlier each year and the rest of the crowd is coming later and later. And third, there really is no flattering lighting for me.

Wish me luck as this was merely the first of what will be 20 - 30 Holiday extravaganzas I will be attending. It is quite conceivable that i may die from an overdose of Good Cheer and Holiday Tidings. Which is perhaps better than being trampled at the Macy's Moonlight Madness Sale. I'm not sure.

So you say to yourself, "Self, who is this J.S. Gilbert guy that he will be going to 20 - 30 holiday events?" And I say to you, "He's a guy who freelances for a living and lives in a very expensive to live in city." It's the one chance out of the year that I can get clients drunk and make them in their reduced and drunken state agree to hire me in the coming New Year. This year I did plan on whipping out my Treo and actually documenting these poor souls by using the built in video camera and I probably would, but unfortunately these places are too noisy and I wouldn't pick up the audio. This would merely leave me with bad looking video of drunken ad people and lord knows we see enough of this on You Tube already.

The big problem with being such a blatant hustler and mingler is that I often forget the true meaning of the holidays, which is getting as much swag as you can and thinking fondly back on the days when you would sit and watch "Frosty the Snowman" high on mushrooms.

This holiday season, I ask you to think of those less fortunate than you, such as the folks who have to sell ad space in Penny Savers or the poor folks who tried to make it as commercial directors and now go and shoot people's 50th wedding anniversary parties. Also think kindly of us in traditional media who must live with the thermostat on 62 and beg to get new colored markers, while the Web guys get all the nifty toys. And lest we forget the words of Howard Gossage who said when life hands you a lemon, make some lemonade and mix it with some Southern Comfort. This should dull the pain.

So I wish you good cheer, good swag and a very merry (Please insert particular spiritual or religiuosly significant holiday affiliation) and to all a good night!

--j.s.