Some people just don't get it

I got pegged to write and produce a couple of radio PSA's for a well respected local charitable organization. This is pro bono work. I'm happy to do it and quite honestly I don't do enough. I got asked to do this by the organization and sent them off to their radio "go-between-public affairs dude."

I thought while I was at it I'd offer to the radio guy that if he had other worthwhile groups that needed production and I had time I'd be happy to consider producing radio spots for these groups for free as my way of "giving back".

He sent me back an e-mail saying the spots were great and thanking me and saying that they got a lot of requests to produce and didn't have time and that I could probably charge the charities $25 - $50 and make a little extra money for myself.

Now my first reaction was to dump his email in the "go take a flying leap..." pile, but then I realized he was merely trying to be helpful and realy didn't mean to insult me, so I wrote him back kind of pointing out that while he didn't mean to be a moron, he kind of came off as one and that he should think about what and how he says things in the future, for fear of being misinterpreted, etc. I crafted this e-mail very carefully and wasn't even slightly insulting and let him know my offer to produce pro bono still stood.

He fires back another email with an opening line about "my overreacting..." And his letter just got worse as he tried to back peddle out of his prior comments. Here I am just trying to offer Mr. radio "public relations" dude a little advice from my slightly wounded and quite undervalued perspective a little advice. I mean, he obviously meant his original comment to be helpful, which at best means he has no understanding of this business and at worst means he's a moron.Would anybody in this business think that under these circumstances they could or should charge $25 - $50 to do pro bono work??????

So, I call him and I can't get a word in edgewise, and then after I very calmly and politely restate everything and also again give him my offer to do pro bono work in the future, I ask him if he understands my "perspective". To which he says "whatever, yeah."

I suppose it is true that no good deed goes unpunished.

So folks, did I do something wrong here? Because my gut reaction is that I'm just going to keep my mouth shut in the future in any similar type of situation.

Comment by J.S. Gilbert on April 27, 2007 at 1:07pm: Fred,
Thanks for giving me a read and for commenting. I took a look at your site and I loved what I saw. discussion for another time) So, to answer your question - both and neither. What upset me was that an individual has been placed in a position whereby he is a representative voice for a large radio group. He should understand his industry and the various components of that idustry, but even more so, he should understand people. His comments clearly show that he doesn't. One thing I should point out is that I'm not blogging so much to make a point, or to be seen as right. The truth is that most of the time I'd rather just be happy. This person is in a job that requires forethought and common sense and he lacks both.
I cetainly have suffered and continue to suffer from foot in mouth disease and I try to surround myself with people who enjoy raining down on me when it seems necessary. There was a time when I thought I knew everything. Lately, I realize that there is more and more I don't know.

I'm not sure if my conversation had a positive effect or really any effect at all. I thought I was helping. I understood that he thought he was helping me and I came from this place. I'm not sure if he understood that I was trying to help him.

And just for the record, if you see me at a social gathering and my breath stinks, tell me. I will know that you are just trying to help.

Comment by J.S. Gilbert on April 27, 2007 at 3:27pm: If, in the great big picture and as Rodney King said "Why can't we all just get along?", you are grasping it, then I suppose perhaps yes.

As I intended this to read, no. No big deal.

I asked 5 colleagues to read my original blog entry and ask if there were issues regarding my clarity or meaning.

The best summation was - someone said a stupid thing. You tried to correct them, they said stupider things. You are tired of stupid people. And yes, no good deed goes unpunished.

Not sure about your motives in asking me how I was insulted. I can't imagine anyone in a similar positioon not being insulted. I did try to take the high road. You're in production and must have to deal with morons all the time who should but have no concept of what you do, why you do it and the value of what you do.

I thought my response back made my feelings indelibly clear.

I will laugh on many occasions today, thanks. I generally have to laugh when I realize that the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions.

Comment by J.S. Gilbert on April 29, 2007 at 4:52pm: This business sometimes can make you feel like a $25 hooker.

Comment by Eugen Suman on May 4, 2007 at 4:20am: The reaction the guy had seem to label him as an idiot. However, I wasn't there, so I can't say he's an 100% idiot. Maybe 95 or something.