Because America Can Never Have Enough Burt Reynolds. Or Stale Coffee.

Denny's promises to "bring dignity back to breakfast" in this teaser for "Thugs," a :30 spot slated to run in the Super Bowl's third quarter.

This represents its first-ever Super Bowl spot, and it's guns a-blazin: narrated by Burt Reynolds with a little Sopranos going on, mixed with Pulp Fiction cafe grit and some hipster sans-serif, but all in all we got a hankering for IHOP.

The work -- directed by Canada's Perlorian Brothers for the charmed folk at Goodby, Silverstein & Partners -- looks promising. But based on way too much experience, no amount of advertising can convince us that Denny's isn't one of the most depressing places in the world to visit.

Their mozzarella sticks are cool though.

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